Certified 2023 Mazda CX-9 Touring

Alright team, gather up, because this Certified 2023 Mazda CX-9 Touring is the starting quarterback of family SUVs, and I'm telling you right now, it's got more hustle than my entire varsity squad during conditioning week. Three rows of space -- kids, pets, gear, in-laws, that weird science project someone forgot about -- it all fits. The turbo engine? Moves faster than a student trying to avoid eye contact when I ask for volunteers. The interior is so clean and classy it might actually convince your family to stop arguing for a full... five minutes. Maybe. And since it's Certified, it's been checked over more times than I've yelled, Hustle! You call that effort?! at 7 a.m. practice. This CX-9 is ready for any play you throw at it -- school drop-offs, weekend tournaments, cross-town chaos, you name it. Funny bonus: It even has enough power to outrun that one dad who insists his minivan is basically a sports car. No it's not, Doug. Sit down.